Lose a Lover > Love a Loser | This post is strictly for the girls 25+!
We are constantly creating our reality. In any relationship, our partner reflects our expectations, subconscious beliefs, and self-esteem. It is often said that your partner is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself, and this is true. I always say, you can’t be done wrong if you’re not around. So, whatever you accept, you are either okay with it or feel that you deserve it to some extent. Sometimes, the other person isn’t necessarily a bad person, but even their shortcomings can mirror how you truly feel about yourself. You may have a subconscious belief that you don’t deserve nice things or that whatever you’re experiencing is the best you’re going to get. It is all nuanced, but today, I want to talk about a dilemma many women face: whether to love a loser or lose a lover.
I know a lot of women, and the things they put up with are unbelievable. Beyond emotional or physical abuse, many women let a lot of things slide. Contrary to popular belief, there are so many men online claiming that women won’t date them unless they have money, are 6’4” with muscles, or fit some unrealistic fantasy. However, this is simply not true. I know hardworking women who date men who are chronically unemployed. I know model-type women dating short men who would be homeless if it weren’t for their mothers. I’ve seen it all. Outside of the internet and red-pill rhetoric, women are often with men who are beneath them in some way. As a bystander, I’ve watched time and time again as these women give these men chances, only for them to mess it up in the worst way. I’ve learned that men who are lacking are prone to complacency, self-sabotage, overt toxic feminine energy (disguised as grandiosity), and draining women’s feminine energy.
Recently, one of my friends was dating a man who had the stability of a page but the emotional intelligence of a king. This is a difficult dynamic because, emotionally, he could provide, but physically, he could not. It’s an odd pairing because as a king, you want your woman to be dependent in some way, but can she really rest on your house of cards? I watched my friend, regress in ways she never had before. He brought her into his world, where he relied on someone else for shelter, but she relied on him for her basic needs. Soon, she realized why he was in the situation he was in. Despite appearances, he had some loser-like habits—chronically playing video games, sleeping all day, and lacking ambition. She found herself in a regressed position where she wasn’t thriving. Then, something happened, and they broke up. As soon as that happened, everything started falling into place for her. Job opportunities fell into her lap, she regained mobility, became active again, and aligned with a king who inspired her. This is so important. I always talk about vetting for your safety net, but there are checks you should continue to do even in the relationship.
