ALEXANDRIA'S ALCHEMY
ALEXANDRIA'S ALCHEMY
This post is about gratitude and intentional contentment.
A few weeks ago, my car was in the shop due to a factory defect, and the dealership gave me a loaner that was a slight upgrade from mine. I enjoyed it—it smelled new, had a nicer interior, and gave off a different vibe. My husband suggested I get one if I liked it. I entertained the idea, and soon found myself deep in the familiar rabbit hole of customizing specs.
Before long, I was thinking, “Why not go for something even better?” I kept bouncing between models that fit my “aesthetic.” What started as fun soon became overwhelming. If I’m paying this much, I thought, why not just get the Porsche I’ve always wanted?
In the midst of my decision-making, almost like kismet, I was invited to a private Porsche event. The atmosphere was posh, with charismatic salesmen selling me not just the car, but the lifestyle. The event was undeniably swanky, and I found myself drawn in. I even followed up with a visit to the dealership.
But when it came down to it, the car I really wanted didn’t align with my values. I couldn’t justify paying over $1,300 a month for a vehicle, even if we could afford it.
At the Mercedes dealership, also like kismet, the exact model I liked was available at a lease price $200 cheaper than my current car loan. It seemed perfect until I realized that sticking with my current car meant I could pay it off soon and be free of payments. The lease was cheaper but would stretch longer, and I’d face mileage restrictions. Plus, by the end of it, I’d either need another car or pay more to keep the one I was already driving.
So, I headed back to Porsche. The Porsche was tempting too! They had a deal similar to Mercedes which was surprising because I never knew Porsche had deals. I test drove one, but sitting inside, I noticed it wasn’t as high-tech as my Mercedes, and the exterior wasn’t significantly better—though, of course, it was a Porsche.
Leaving the dealership, the idea of “watering my own grass” came to mind. My almost 3-year-old Mercedes is already very nice. It’s not the top-tier model, but I love the ambient lighting, sound system, panoramic roof, and the body design. Plus, it’s bigger than the other Mercedes models and the Porsche.
The problem wasn’t the car—it was that I hadn’t taken care of the interior for a couple of weeks. Plus, I have a toddler who loves dropping fries and spilling things. This experience was a reflection of a larger pattern in my life. I’ve always chased the next best thing. My mom used to say, “Once Allie gets what she wants, she’s already asking for more.”
Looking back, I realize how exhausting this has been—from making wish lists from catalogs as a kid, hunting for designer finds on eBay as a tween, to now having access to almost everything I’ve ever wanted, yet still wanting more. It’s tiring, and I’m ready to stop.
This week, I’m taking inventory of my life. I’ve received almost everything I’ve wished for. Now it’s time to live with it, enjoy it, optimize it, simplify it, and just be. Be present with my past desires and appreciate what I have. It’s easy to lose yourself in constant pursuit—especially of material things.
With my Scorpio North Node, I know this is one of my life’s biggest lessons. Materialism has always been a struggle for me. But from now on, I’m going to enjoy and maintain my Mercedes SUV that I always wanted. My house: I’ll clean it, decorate it, and embrace my lovely home without endlessly browsing Zillow for million-dollar homes. My stuff: I’ll wear the bags, shoes, and clothes I’ve already spent thousands on and remind myself—I don’t need a single thing more.
I’m taking inventory and thanking the universe for all the abundance I already have.
This post is about gratitude and intentional contentment.
A few weeks ago, my car was in the shop due to a factory defect, and the dealership gave me a loaner that was a slight upgrade from mine. I enjoyed it—it smelled new, had a nicer interior, and gave off a different vibe. My husband suggested I get one if I liked it. I entertained the idea, and soon found myself deep in the familiar rabbit hole of customizing specs.
Before long, I was thinking, “Why not go for something even better?” I kept bouncing between models that fit my “aesthetic.” What started as fun soon became overwhelming. If I’m paying this much, I thought, why not just get the Porsche I’ve always wanted?
In the midst of my decision-making, almost like kismet, I was invited to a private Porsche event. The atmosphere was posh, with charismatic salesmen selling me not just the car, but the lifestyle. The event was undeniably swanky, and I found myself drawn in. I even followed up with a visit to the dealership.
But when it came down to it, the car I really wanted didn’t align with my values. I couldn’t justify paying over $1,300 a month for a vehicle, even if we could afford it.
At the Mercedes dealership, also like kismet, the exact model I liked was available at a lease price $200 cheaper than my current car loan. It seemed perfect until I realized that sticking with my current car meant I could pay it off soon and be free of payments. The lease was cheaper but would stretch longer, and I’d face mileage restrictions. Plus, by the end of it, I’d either need another car or pay more to keep the one I was already driving.
So, I headed back to Porsche. The Porsche was tempting too! They had a deal similar to Mercedes which was surprising because I never knew Porsche had deals. I test drove one, but sitting inside, I noticed it wasn’t as high-tech as my Mercedes, and the exterior wasn’t significantly better—though, of course, it was a Porsche.
Leaving the dealership, the idea of “watering my own grass” came to mind. My almost 3-year-old Mercedes is already very nice. It’s not the top-tier model, but I love the ambient lighting, sound system, panoramic roof, and the body design. Plus, it’s bigger than the other Mercedes models and the Porsche.
The problem wasn’t the car—it was that I hadn’t taken care of the interior for a couple of weeks. Plus, I have a toddler who loves dropping fries and spilling things. This experience was a reflection of a larger pattern in my life. I’ve always chased the next best thing. My mom used to say, “Once Allie gets what she wants, she’s already asking for more.”
Looking back, I realize how exhausting this has been—from making wish lists from catalogs as a kid, hunting for designer finds on eBay as a tween, to now having access to almost everything I’ve ever wanted, yet still wanting more. It’s tiring, and I’m ready to stop.
This week, I’m taking inventory of my life. I’ve received almost everything I’ve wished for. Now it’s time to live with it, enjoy it, optimize it, simplify it, and just be. Be present with my past desires and appreciate what I have. It’s easy to lose yourself in constant pursuit—especially of material things.
With my Scorpio North Node, I know this is one of my life’s biggest lessons. Materialism has always been a struggle for me. But from now on, I’m going to enjoy and maintain my Mercedes SUV that I always wanted. My house: I’ll clean it, decorate it, and embrace my lovely home without endlessly browsing Zillow for million-dollar homes. My stuff: I’ll wear the bags, shoes, and clothes I’ve already spent thousands on and remind myself—I don’t need a single thing more.
I’m taking inventory and thanking the universe for all the abundance I already have.