It seems that many mediums share the same story. They talk about a psychic grandmother who helped them develop their gifts or about seeing dead people as a child. My experience, however, is vastly different from the cliché.

My extra-sensory experiences usually happened in the space between wakefulness and sleep. Around the age of 12, I started having dreams that came true. I would dream of circumstances, and then they’d play out in my 3D reality. Eventually, these dreams began to include the idea of people passing. I’d dream of scenarios where a brother or sister passed, and then someone in my life’s brother or sister (matching the exact gender from the dream) would pass. These dreams always followed a certain sequence. Essentially, I’d have about three dreams in one.

The first time this happened, I dreamed about my little sister passing. Shortly after, one of my close friend’s sisters passed. Then, I had a dream about my brother, and my cousin passed. I had another dream about my brother, and later, a school friend’s brother passed. When it came to my cousin, I had already braced myself for the news because this pattern had happened before—I knew it was coming. Needless to say, we got a call in the middle of the night. I just so happened to be in my parents’ room, trying to print something for school when the phone rang. As soon as it did, the claircognizance set in—I just knew what the call was about. And I was right.

When it came to my school friend, I remember telling my close friend about the dream and that I was bracing myself to find out who it would be. She said, “Bitch, it better not be my brother.” Later that week, our mutual friend’s brother passed from an asthma attack. We were both stunned because I had told her about it before it happened. I never knew exactly how or who, but these premonitions always came to fruition. After a while, I asked not to have those dreams anymore because they didn’t serve me. Plus, there was nothing I could do to prevent the passing of people I barely knew. Perhaps the experiences were just meant to be impactful—to get me to trust my intuition.

In addition to these premonitions, I experienced almost nightly sleep paralysis. In this state, I’d hear things—like two people rapping along to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episode I was watching. I’ve also had instances of hearing the voices of disembodied souls around me. This experience helped me understand that at any given time, in any given place, there are quite a few spirits on the astral plane—some merely observing, others trying to live vicariously through the living.

That brings me to another experience. My uncle was murdered. He had spent years in prison for murder, and after he got out, he lived in the same area. Whoever had been watching him let him go about his life for a while, but eventually, they caught him off guard and shot him. Around the time of his funeral, we were all at my aunt’s house. I was walking down the stairs with his daughter, and I felt someone walking with us. They were wearing jeans and a T-shirt, but I didn’t catch who they were. When we reached the bottom of the steps, I turned around—and they were gone. Before I freaked everyone out, I ran upstairs to see if any of my cousins had turned around and gone back up. But there was nobody there. I got chills and felt terrified because I knew someone had been walking with us.

I told my mom, and she asked his daughter who had been with us. Without hesitation, she said, “Daddy.” That spooked me. And get this—during his funeral, she didn’t recognize him in the casket. But she did recognize him coming down the stairs. After the fact my mam fact checked and asked what he was wearing when he passed. It was the outfit I saw.

One of my most impactful experiences happened a few years ago. I had a cousin who passed young—he was about 26. He had a brain tumor. Before his passing, I assumed he was on drugs and blocked him for a while because he wouldn’t stop asking me for money. I didn’t know that his behavior, which sometimes seemed erratic, was due to his illness. When he passed, it was heartbreaking.

Around that time, strange things started happening. I was on the phone with my mom talking about him when my glasses, which had been sitting on my bathroom counter, flew off. My mom casually said, “Maybe that’s him.” I didn’t think much of it. But a few days later, I was cleaning my house, and afterward, I noticed small handprints on the microwave. I called my stepson downstairs and told him to wash his hands before touching things. He swore he hadn’t done it. I looked closer—the handprints were way smaller than his. I thought, Oh, hell nah—I need to sage or something.

Not long after, I had a dream. An older woman told me that my cousin comes around me as a child. I instantly thought of the handprints. Then, suddenly, I found myself in a dark space with a single light shining down on a table. There were elders there, and my cousin was with them. I was so excited to see him, but first, I apologized. I told him I had blocked him because I thought he was on drugs and didn’t know he was actually sick. He told me it was okay—because, honestly, it was a little bit of both.

I asked him what it was like to pass on—what he had learned about God, existence, all of it. He just shrugged and said, Nothing. He literally said, All I know is that I have to come back. Basically, he had to reincarnate. I only told my mom about this dream. But I do know that young men who pass early, especially, tend to reincarnate quickly. And get this—our other cousin, who was raised with him like a sister, had a daughter born on his birthday. She even named her after him. Isn’t that crazy? That’s what he meant about coming back!

Most recently, on my maternal grandfather’s birthday, my mom was feeling emotional, missing him. She mentioned it briefly, but I forgot about it. A few weeks later, when she was at my house watching my baby while I went on vacation, I had a dream about my grandpa.

In the dream, I was at this super fancy retirement home. A woman led me into a room, and there was my grandfather. He looked amazing—healthy, vibrant. He was older, but more like how he looked in his 60s rather than how he looked when he passed. His hair was dark and sleek, his skin rich and chocolate, his teeth perfect. He was buzzing. I said, Damn, Grandpa, you look so good!—and he was over the moon.

I asked if he had a message for anyone. He simply said to tell my mom that he was doing well. That’s it. And honestly, that’s the message mediums always seem to get—just simple reassurance.

When I woke up and started my day, getting ready to board the plane, the dream hit me. I thought, Oh shit—Grandpa had a message for Mom! I think he knew she had been feeling down and just wanted to let her know he was okay.

I’ve noticed that I can only strongly connect with people I actually know. I’ve only had a few dreams for other people—like an ex who passed, where I dreamed of his grandmother. Or my soulmate, Ashla, where I saw a woman I somehow knew was related to her maternally. It didn’t surprise me—we’re soul family for sure.

I was also able to channel one of my best friends from school who passed—she just kept calling me her sister. Her passing still triggers me deeply. I’ve broken down a few times over it—when a coworker had a domestic violence incident and stopped showing up to work, when a friend posted old pictures of someone who resembled her, or when I heard a woman at an event talk about losing her best friend. Every time, I lost it.

One last thing—sometimes, upon waking, I get flashes of someone’s life. When people say, my life flashed before my eyes, I never understood what that meant—until it started happening to me. It’s like rapid snapshots, all of the same person, but different moments in their life. I’ve experienced this only a handful of times, but as my awareness grows, so does my understanding of guiding souls on other realms.