ALEXANDRIA'S ALCHEMY
ALEXANDRIA'S ALCHEMY
Archetypes of Insufferability
In my 30 years of observing humans, I’ve realized why people remain stuck in their cycles and ways. We all have patterns, but it is especially frustrating when karmic cycles are so evident, yet people refuse to change. They want to vent their frustrations but won’t take action to change their circumstances. They have a laundry list of reasons why they can’t have what they want and claim to have tried everything, yet they reject every opportunity to shift their reality. When lifelines appear, they ignore them and choose to wallow instead. These people are insufferable.
These are the ones who hate being overweight but refuse to eat less and move more. The ones who despise being single but dismiss potential partners over trivial things (cough cough pop the balloon). The ones who ask for advice only to shoot down every suggestion. They want change, but not enough to do what’s necessary to achieve it. Instead, they operate in a loop of frustration, self-sabotage, and blame, never realizing that they are their own biggest obstacle.
As an alchemist, you must avoid embodying these archetypes. Why? Because we don’t operate on the same frequency as everyone else. We understand that solutions are roadways to our desires, that opportunities push us forward, teach us lessons, or serve as exciting side quests. We are never too wise, too rigid, or too “above it all” to embrace childlike wonder in new situations. We recognize that those who offer us advice are mirrors of our inner world—if we perceive them, they exist within us.
"Life becomes magical when you surrender rigidity, embrace the unknown, and trust that every detour is leading you to something greater."
The Contrarian
The contrarian always has a rebuttal. You could say the sky is blue, and they’ll argue that it’s sometimes orange, pink, or violet. While technically true, their need to disagree for disagreement’s sake makes them exhausting. Not everything requires a debate. Sometimes, agreeing is an act of social grace, an acknowledgment that not every conversation needs to be turned into a battle of wits. Contrarians often think they’re being insightful or critical thinkers, but in reality, they are just draining to be around. No one wants to engage with someone who makes every interaction an argument. If you always push back, people will eventually stop engaging with you altogether.
The Blessing Blocker
I once worked with a woman who constantly lamented being over 35 and unmarried. When I got engaged, I noticed the slight disappointment in her forced smile. One evening, we went out, and she met a great guy. He was fine. He sent her flowers at work. A week later, he took her to a Broadway show in New York. Everything was going great. But then, she decided to cut him off. Why? Because he called her and didn’t leave a voicemail. Not that he ghosted her, not that he was disrespectful—just that he didn’t leave a voicemail.
This is one of the more ridiculous examples, but it proves a point: people will block their own blessings over the dumbest things. Some people are so accustomed to disappointment that when something good happens, they subconsciously look for a reason to reject it. They find faults where none exist, nitpicking at the most insignificant details to justify their continued misery.
Blessing blockers do this in all aspects of life—not just relationships. They’ll reject a great job offer over something trivial, like the office being ten minutes further than their last job. They’ll refuse to network with a key contact because they didn’t like their handshake. They are masters at creating obstacles where there are none, ensuring they stay stuck while complaining about how life never gives them a break.
Arbitrary Standards
Having standards, boundaries, and expectations is good—but some people set standards that are absurd and self-sabotaging. There’s a difference between having high standards and being unrealistic.
Refusing to date someone because they’re 6’2” instead of 6’3”? Absurd.
Declining a job that pays $96,000 because it’s not a “six-figure” salary? Delusional.
Rejecting last-minute plans even though you’re free and want to go? Self-sabotage.
Some people have convinced themselves that perfection exists, that they must hold out for the exact thing they envisioned with zero compromise. But life doesn’t work that way. The happiest and most successful people are those who understand that flexibility is key. They recognize opportunities and make them work instead of rejecting them for arbitrary, inconsequential reasons.
The Rigid One
Rigid people are unmoving, uninspiring, and, quite frankly, boring. They refuse to try new things but complain about being unhappy. They cling to a false sense of honor and stoicism, but in reality, they are just stagnant.
These are the lonely people who refuse to attend social events because of self-imposed limitations. The ones who won’t take a class, travel to a new place, or meet new people because it’s “not their thing.” The women who don’t feel pretty but reject any effort to enhance their appearance because they “don’t need all that.” The men who complain about their lack of success but refuse to adapt to the times. If you won’t change, don’t complain.
Rigidity kills growth. It makes people stuck in outdated mindsets, in old wounds, in habits that no longer serve them. The world is constantly evolving, and those who refuse to move with it will find themselves left behind.
The One Who Has “Tried Everything”
This archetype overlaps with the contrarian and the rigid one. They claim they’ve “tried everything,” yet their efforts were half-hearted at best.
Trying and succeeding are not the same. Growth takes time, strategy, and consistent effort. Athletes don’t become champions overnight; they train, build muscle memory, and refine their skills. The same applies to anything worth achieving. Those who expect instant success and give up when it doesn’t happen are not only insufferable but also delusional.
“I’ve tried everything” is often just an excuse to justify failure without taking accountability. Because if they truly had tried everything, they would have found something that worked. More often than not, they’ve tried a handful of things inconsistently and are frustrated that they aren’t seeing results. They dismiss the effort required for mastery and assume their lack of immediate success means they are doomed. But the truth is, the only real failure is quitting.
Being flexible and open to opportunities is the key to living a life filled with magic, wonder, and unexpected blessings. When you release the need for rigid control and allow life to unfold naturally, you invite serendipity to work in your favor. Opportunities often come disguised as inconveniences, surprises, or detours, but those who embrace change with an open mind find themselves in places they never could have planned—places filled with new connections, personal growth, and incredible experiences.
The most fulfilling lives are not lived according to a strict script but instead through a willingness to explore, adapt, and trust that everything is happening for a reason. Flexibility allows you to say “yes” to what others overlook, to pivot when needed, and to recognize that every challenge is either a lesson or a stepping stone toward something greater. The universe rewards those who take inspired action, who follow their curiosity, and who remain open to the idea that sometimes the best things come in ways we never expected.
Final Thoughts
Recognizing and avoiding these archetypes is essential to evolving as an alchemist. We see the world differently, embracing opportunities and learning from every experience. The insufferable remain trapped by their own excuses, but we are fluid, adaptable, and ever-expanding.
If you find yourself embodying one of these archetypes, ask yourself: do you want to stay stuck, or do you want to transform? Because the only thing standing between you and everything you want is you.
Archetypes of Insufferability
In my 30 years of observing humans, I’ve realized why people remain stuck in their cycles and ways. We all have patterns, but it is especially frustrating when karmic cycles are so evident, yet people refuse to change. They want to vent their frustrations but won’t take action to change their circumstances. They have a laundry list of reasons why they can’t have what they want and claim to have tried everything, yet they reject every opportunity to shift their reality. When lifelines appear, they ignore them and choose to wallow instead. These people are insufferable.
These are the ones who hate being overweight but refuse to eat less and move more. The ones who despise being single but dismiss potential partners over trivial things (cough cough pop the balloon). The ones who ask for advice only to shoot down every suggestion. They want change, but not enough to do what’s necessary to achieve it. Instead, they operate in a loop of frustration, self-sabotage, and blame, never realizing that they are their own biggest obstacle.
As an alchemist, you must avoid embodying these archetypes. Why? Because we don’t operate on the same frequency as everyone else. We understand that solutions are roadways to our desires, that opportunities push us forward, teach us lessons, or serve as exciting side quests. We are never too wise, too rigid, or too “above it all” to embrace childlike wonder in new situations. We recognize that those who offer us advice are mirrors of our inner world—if we perceive them, they exist within us.
"Life becomes magical when you surrender rigidity, embrace the unknown, and trust that every detour is leading you to something greater."
The Contrarian
The contrarian always has a rebuttal. You could say the sky is blue, and they’ll argue that it’s sometimes orange, pink, or violet. While technically true, their need to disagree for disagreement’s sake makes them exhausting. Not everything requires a debate. Sometimes, agreeing is an act of social grace, an acknowledgment that not every conversation needs to be turned into a battle of wits. Contrarians often think they’re being insightful or critical thinkers, but in reality, they are just draining to be around. No one wants to engage with someone who makes every interaction an argument. If you always push back, people will eventually stop engaging with you altogether.
The Blessing Blocker
I once worked with a woman who constantly lamented being over 35 and unmarried. When I got engaged, I noticed the slight disappointment in her forced smile. One evening, we went out, and she met a great guy. He was fine. He sent her flowers at work. A week later, he took her to a Broadway show in New York. Everything was going great. But then, she decided to cut him off. Why? Because he called her and didn’t leave a voicemail. Not that he ghosted her, not that he was disrespectful—just that he didn’t leave a voicemail.
This is one of the more ridiculous examples, but it proves a point: people will block their own blessings over the dumbest things. Some people are so accustomed to disappointment that when something good happens, they subconsciously look for a reason to reject it. They find faults where none exist, nitpicking at the most insignificant details to justify their continued misery.
Blessing blockers do this in all aspects of life—not just relationships. They’ll reject a great job offer over something trivial, like the office being ten minutes further than their last job. They’ll refuse to network with a key contact because they didn’t like their handshake. They are masters at creating obstacles where there are none, ensuring they stay stuck while complaining about how life never gives them a break.
Arbitrary Standards
Having standards, boundaries, and expectations is good—but some people set standards that are absurd and self-sabotaging. There’s a difference between having high standards and being unrealistic.
Refusing to date someone because they’re 6’2” instead of 6’3”? Absurd.
Declining a job that pays $96,000 because it’s not a “six-figure” salary? Delusional.
Rejecting last-minute plans even though you’re free and want to go? Self-sabotage.
Some people have convinced themselves that perfection exists, that they must hold out for the exact thing they envisioned with zero compromise. But life doesn’t work that way. The happiest and most successful people are those who understand that flexibility is key. They recognize opportunities and make them work instead of rejecting them for arbitrary, inconsequential reasons.
The Rigid One
Rigid people are unmoving, uninspiring, and, quite frankly, boring. They refuse to try new things but complain about being unhappy. They cling to a false sense of honor and stoicism, but in reality, they are just stagnant.
These are the lonely people who refuse to attend social events because of self-imposed limitations. The ones who won’t take a class, travel to a new place, or meet new people because it’s “not their thing.” The women who don’t feel pretty but reject any effort to enhance their appearance because they “don’t need all that.” The men who complain about their lack of success but refuse to adapt to the times. If you won’t change, don’t complain.
Rigidity kills growth. It makes people stuck in outdated mindsets, in old wounds, in habits that no longer serve them. The world is constantly evolving, and those who refuse to move with it will find themselves left behind.
The One Who Has “Tried Everything”
This archetype overlaps with the contrarian and the rigid one. They claim they’ve “tried everything,” yet their efforts were half-hearted at best.
Trying and succeeding are not the same. Growth takes time, strategy, and consistent effort. Athletes don’t become champions overnight; they train, build muscle memory, and refine their skills. The same applies to anything worth achieving. Those who expect instant success and give up when it doesn’t happen are not only insufferable but also delusional.
“I’ve tried everything” is often just an excuse to justify failure without taking accountability. Because if they truly had tried everything, they would have found something that worked. More often than not, they’ve tried a handful of things inconsistently and are frustrated that they aren’t seeing results. They dismiss the effort required for mastery and assume their lack of immediate success means they are doomed. But the truth is, the only real failure is quitting.
Being flexible and open to opportunities is the key to living a life filled with magic, wonder, and unexpected blessings. When you release the need for rigid control and allow life to unfold naturally, you invite serendipity to work in your favor. Opportunities often come disguised as inconveniences, surprises, or detours, but those who embrace change with an open mind find themselves in places they never could have planned—places filled with new connections, personal growth, and incredible experiences.
The most fulfilling lives are not lived according to a strict script but instead through a willingness to explore, adapt, and trust that everything is happening for a reason. Flexibility allows you to say “yes” to what others overlook, to pivot when needed, and to recognize that every challenge is either a lesson or a stepping stone toward something greater. The universe rewards those who take inspired action, who follow their curiosity, and who remain open to the idea that sometimes the best things come in ways we never expected.
Final Thoughts
Recognizing and avoiding these archetypes is essential to evolving as an alchemist. We see the world differently, embracing opportunities and learning from every experience. The insufferable remain trapped by their own excuses, but we are fluid, adaptable, and ever-expanding.
If you find yourself embodying one of these archetypes, ask yourself: do you want to stay stuck, or do you want to transform? Because the only thing standing between you and everything you want is you.