ALEXANDRIA'S ALCHEMY
ALEXANDRIA'S ALCHEMY
Lately, I’ve been balancing the intricacies of being both a hermit and a social butterfly. I spend most of my days alone, which gives me the time to self-actualize, recharge, and renew. As a philosopher, I believe that solitude is essential—it allows us to be in our own energy, untainted by the auric fields of others. But today, I want to discuss some of the downsides of leaning too heavily into hermit energy and explore the undeniable benefits of genuine connection.
Hermit Mode, Isolation & Etiquette
I always seem to attract fellow hermits. We find solace in solitude, yet we’re always delighted to reconnect with people who truly “get” us—those who aren’t fazed by our silence or need for independence. I refer to these gems as low-maintenance friends. Personally, I’ve never jelled with the clingy types. I don’t want to talk on the phone every day, nor do I want constant drop-ins at my house. Over time, I’ve had to distance myself from people whose anxiety in friendship was overwhelming.
However, observing some of my low-maintenance friends has opened my eyes to the pitfalls of too much isolation. One friend, who eventually dropped off the face of the earth, shared how her silence in conversations made others misunderstand her intentions. She eventually missed out on career opportunities, and her avoidant behavior even seeped into her love life. When people reached out, she simply wouldn’t respond.
Communication is key. Dropping off the radar for months might be acceptable to some, but it can seriously set you back. Some people will understand, while others might simply choose to disengage or feel slighted. In our society, ignoring someone—unless it’s a case of harassment or unwanted contact—is considered rude. In her case on a deeper level, many avoidants crave attention. They want others to break down their walls to show they care, yet when others retreat, it only reinforces the painful message: “They never cared about me.” Beyond avoidants and their self-fulfilling prophecies, as hermits, we must be delicate and emotionally intelligent with the connections we actually do have.
So, to my fellow hermits, please remember to check in, even if it’s just a brief “I’m okay.” In this 3D world, silence can have consequences. Especially when you constantly worry others, which is not cool. I’ve had to check in with family members of friends to ensure they were safe. Sometimes it was due to illness or depression, and other times, tragically, the person was actually gone. I’ve experiences this twice. Being on the other side, I caution against being radio silent with people who are doing wellness checks.
Dialing Back On Social Media
I’ve stepped away from social media. The endless cycle of taking photos, editing them, crafting the perfect caption, replying to comments, and obsessing over the aesthetic of my page felt utterly pointless. I’m in a season where I want to connect organically. If I can’t see you in real life, you’re not part of my energy—and vice versa. Also, I got tired of the burners and exes popping up everywhere—and even an account that stole my logo to claim as their own. With my secret fan club constantly monitoring me, I realized I didn’t want to invest my energy right now.
Isolation’s Impact on Social Reality
There’s another aspect to consider: too much isolation can warp your social perception. I often refer to it as “the allure of the rabbit hole.” When you’re isolated, certain ideologies can distort your worldview. Without a sounding board, you might come off as completely out of touch when you do interact with others. Social media’s algorithm can create the illusion of widespread agreement on any topic—until you step into real life and realize that others have no clue what you’re talking about.
Take, for example, my experience with TikTok. I was convinced that UAP sightings were skyrocketing, so I casually mentioned it in conversation. The blank stares I received made me feel like the eccentric person who talks about aliens—although, admittedly, I discuss even wilder topics. The lesson here? Get outside, touch some grass, and interact with the real world now and then.
The Beauty of Meaningful Connection
Even though I spend most of my days in solitude, I still get invited to events and cherish these moments of genuine connection. An associate I met back in 2019 said recently, “Yeah, people keep asking me, ‘Do you know Allie?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, I’ve known her before all you bitches. Now you’re so popular!’” It’s funny because, despite my hermit tendencies, I’ve built a network of meaningful relationships over the years.
Even with my small following, I’ve enjoyed a vibrant social season. Yet, I remain a hermit at heart—nurturing my introspection with good music, writing, and time away from the constant buzz of social media. It keeps me centered and propels my spiritual journey. I cannot fathom spending all my time face-to-face with people; I value my independence too much. I know others thrive on constant companionship—someone to call, to accompany them to the grocery store, to attend every event—but that’s just not me. That said, I do enjoy getting dressed up and schmoozing from time to time.
When Isolation Lowers Your Value
Another cautionary note: too much isolation can lower your perceived value. When you’re not actively contributing to others’ lives, you risk being seen as lacking in substance. Your value lies in what you can offer—services, advice, tangible contributions, and more. Some individuals isolate to their detriment, never investing in self-improvement. As a result, when they step into the 3D world, they’re often labeled as “losers” or “low-life” types. Think of those who spend endless hours gaming or chatting online but struggle to secure a decent job or form meaningful relationships because they haven’t cultivated their social or professional skills.
Finding the Right Balance
The key takeaway here is balance. Embracing solitude has its merits—it fosters creativity, introspection, and personal growth. Yet, without meaningful interactions, isolation can become a hindrance, both personally and socially.
Check in regularly: Even if it’s just a quick message, let people know you’re okay.
Engage meaningfully: Build relationships that nurture both your personal and professional life.
Ground your ideas: Share your thoughts with a trusted circle to keep your perspectives balanced.
Invest in self-improvement: Use your alone time to work on skills and talents that add value to your interactions.
In this journey of balancing the hermit with the social butterfly, remember that genuine human connection is not just a luxury—it’s essential for thriving in our interconnected world. So, while I may enjoy my days of solitude, I’ll also continue to nurture the relationships that add richness and depth to my life.
Stay balanced, stay authentic, and most importantly, stay connected.
Lately, I’ve been balancing the intricacies of being both a hermit and a social butterfly. I spend most of my days alone, which gives me the time to self-actualize, recharge, and renew. As a philosopher, I believe that solitude is essential—it allows us to be in our own energy, untainted by the auric fields of others. But today, I want to discuss some of the downsides of leaning too heavily into hermit energy and explore the undeniable benefits of genuine connection.
Hermit Mode, Isolation & Etiquette
I always seem to attract fellow hermits. We find solace in solitude, yet we’re always delighted to reconnect with people who truly “get” us—those who aren’t fazed by our silence or need for independence. I refer to these gems as low-maintenance friends. Personally, I’ve never jelled with the clingy types. I don’t want to talk on the phone every day, nor do I want constant drop-ins at my house. Over time, I’ve had to distance myself from people whose anxiety in friendship was overwhelming.
However, observing some of my low-maintenance friends has opened my eyes to the pitfalls of too much isolation. One friend, who eventually dropped off the face of the earth, shared how her silence in conversations made others misunderstand her intentions. She eventually missed out on career opportunities, and her avoidant behavior even seeped into her love life. When people reached out, she simply wouldn’t respond.
Communication is key. Dropping off the radar for months might be acceptable to some, but it can seriously set you back. Some people will understand, while others might simply choose to disengage or feel slighted. In our society, ignoring someone—unless it’s a case of harassment or unwanted contact—is considered rude. In her case on a deeper level, many avoidants crave attention. They want others to break down their walls to show they care, yet when others retreat, it only reinforces the painful message: “They never cared about me.” Beyond avoidants and their self-fulfilling prophecies, as hermits, we must be delicate and emotionally intelligent with the connections we actually do have.
So, to my fellow hermits, please remember to check in, even if it’s just a brief “I’m okay.” In this 3D world, silence can have consequences. Especially when you constantly worry others, which is not cool. I’ve had to check in with family members of friends to ensure they were safe. Sometimes it was due to illness or depression, and other times, tragically, the person was actually gone. I’ve experiences this twice. Being on the other side, I caution against being radio silent with people who are doing wellness checks.
Dialing Back On Social Media
I’ve stepped away from social media. The endless cycle of taking photos, editing them, crafting the perfect caption, replying to comments, and obsessing over the aesthetic of my page felt utterly pointless. I’m in a season where I want to connect organically. If I can’t see you in real life, you’re not part of my energy—and vice versa. Also, I got tired of the burners and exes popping up everywhere—and even an account that stole my logo to claim as their own. With my secret fan club constantly monitoring me, I realized I didn’t want to invest my energy right now.
Isolation’s Impact on Social Reality
There’s another aspect to consider: too much isolation can warp your social perception. I often refer to it as “the allure of the rabbit hole.” When you’re isolated, certain ideologies can distort your worldview. Without a sounding board, you might come off as completely out of touch when you do interact with others. Social media’s algorithm can create the illusion of widespread agreement on any topic—until you step into real life and realize that others have no clue what you’re talking about.
Take, for example, my experience with TikTok. I was convinced that UAP sightings were skyrocketing, so I casually mentioned it in conversation. The blank stares I received made me feel like the eccentric person who talks about aliens—although, admittedly, I discuss even wilder topics. The lesson here? Get outside, touch some grass, and interact with the real world now and then.
The Beauty of Meaningful Connection
Even though I spend most of my days in solitude, I still get invited to events and cherish these moments of genuine connection. An associate I met back in 2019 said recently, “Yeah, people keep asking me, ‘Do you know Allie?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, I’ve known her before all you bitches. Now you’re so popular!’” It’s funny because, despite my hermit tendencies, I’ve built a network of meaningful relationships over the years.
Even with my small following, I’ve enjoyed a vibrant social season. Yet, I remain a hermit at heart—nurturing my introspection with good music, writing, and time away from the constant buzz of social media. It keeps me centered and propels my spiritual journey. I cannot fathom spending all my time face-to-face with people; I value my independence too much. I know others thrive on constant companionship—someone to call, to accompany them to the grocery store, to attend every event—but that’s just not me. That said, I do enjoy getting dressed up and schmoozing from time to time.
When Isolation Lowers Your Value
Another cautionary note: too much isolation can lower your perceived value. When you’re not actively contributing to others’ lives, you risk being seen as lacking in substance. Your value lies in what you can offer—services, advice, tangible contributions, and more. Some individuals isolate to their detriment, never investing in self-improvement. As a result, when they step into the 3D world, they’re often labeled as “losers” or “low-life” types. Think of those who spend endless hours gaming or chatting online but struggle to secure a decent job or form meaningful relationships because they haven’t cultivated their social or professional skills.
Finding the Right Balance
The key takeaway here is balance. Embracing solitude has its merits—it fosters creativity, introspection, and personal growth. Yet, without meaningful interactions, isolation can become a hindrance, both personally and socially.
Check in regularly: Even if it’s just a quick message, let people know you’re okay.
Engage meaningfully: Build relationships that nurture both your personal and professional life.
Ground your ideas: Share your thoughts with a trusted circle to keep your perspectives balanced.
Invest in self-improvement: Use your alone time to work on skills and talents that add value to your interactions.
In this journey of balancing the hermit with the social butterfly, remember that genuine human connection is not just a luxury—it’s essential for thriving in our interconnected world. So, while I may enjoy my days of solitude, I’ll also continue to nurture the relationships that add richness and depth to my life.
Stay balanced, stay authentic, and most importantly, stay connected.